if you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got!

There’s a saying that ‘the first sign of madness is continuing to do what you’ve been doing and expect anything to change. It seems obvious when you think about it, but it’s extraordinary how many of us choose to remain in the same runnels of behaviour, often unconsciously, because we haven’t lifted our heads up and taken a look around at what else might be possible. It seems to me that having this time of enforced self isolation is the ideal time to review some of the things that aren’t working for us and decide what might be preferable. Allowing yourself to become curious is often the first step; writing a list of what you might want to change is great because it gets it out of your head and onto paper or the screen where you can look at each one from a distance, and notice how you feel when you see/ read it.

Doing a 360 degree scan of your life helps this process; using headings like Work/ Finances/ Relationship/ Partner/ Family – both your nearest and extended/ Fun/ Leisure/ Pleasure/ Nourishment/ etc. gives you the matrix to examine where life is swinging along easily and happily, and where it’s sticky and needs some adjustment or change to flow more sweetly.  There are some easy, delightful techniques for achieving this clarity (which I will share in another post), but you can create your own, playing with whatever works for you. Using a scale of 0-10 is useful because then when you come to re-examine whatever you have chosen to work with, you will have evidence that it has indeed changed, hopefully for the better.

Once you know where your focus needs to be, have a go at this:

STOP! Drop the story you’ve been telling yourself about this issue; breathe and ask yourself ” when I think of this ………how do I feel? Where in my body is it? ” NAME THE FEELING – if you’re not in the habit of doing this, it’s useful to have a comprehensive list of emotions to hand to choose from – then, sit with that feeling, enfolding it in your accepting loving arms, soothing yourself as you do, knowing that ALL feelings change and move, and there is NO judgement of good/bad, right/wrong. It just IS for now. If the story (justification) comes up – and it almost certainly will if this is a long established habit, keep dropping it and breathing  as you self soothe. If it’s very old, soothe that younger self who experienced this first, as if you had him/her in your arms, on your lap, letting that younger you know how you love them and are there for them no matter what. When you help yourself to feel even slightly better in the presence of this scenario, something profound will change. Notice how you feel at after a few minutes; if it’s worse then you may need some professional help. If it’s better, name the feeling and pay attention to it. It takes 30 days to change a neural pattern (habit) so repeat regularly with gratitude and conscious choice.

Doing a process like this is empowering and can replace feelings of futility, hopelessness, and low mood, especially when you give yourself permission to play. Please try it for yourself and contact me if you need support or a kind ear to listen and reflect back to you. I’m at home and available!

Eye See You

We’re all spending more time sitting at our screens, working from home, meeting on Zoom, researching page after page of information, either work related or for fun; and then there’s watching films, playing games, keeping in touch with colleagues, family or friends.

Our lives have shrunk to the room we’re in, the bedsit, flat or house we inhabit. A friend mentioned that she had become more aware of her eyes feeling strained and tired because of the sustained effort to see and take in all of this stimulation and process it.

So my question is: Are we looking with ‘tender eyes’ or are we allowing ourselves to be ‘tenderised’? Self care isn’t just eating well, and sleeping enough, and exercising regularly ; it’s about respecting and honouring this incredible body we live in.

How might it feel when we start each day by acknowledging our own body?

What might happen when you flow gratitude to your body for the outstanding job it does for you, every minute of every day and night?

Just try it …….stand up now, centre yourself with feet firmly grounded wherever you are, put your hands over your heart and bow to your body.  Say to yourself (preferably out loud) “Thank you, thank you, thank you. I appreciate all that you do for me, and I am profoundly grateful. I love you.” Stay here for a minute or so to really feel what comes up for you as you do this. Let it be whatever it is, without judgement or criticism. Enfold it, and yourself, in a loving embrace – physically or metaphysically.

Then, put your hands over your eyes, cupping them gently and lovingly. Say the same words to your eyes. Feel what happens as they soften and relax in the warmth of your palms and words.

When you do this every day, even several times a day, you are giving your body a message that all is well – your cortisol levels will drop and you will feel calmer and be able to be more creative. It’s worth setting yourself a work boundary – 40 minutes of working and then a timer to remind you to take a break to stretch/move/drink. Take your eyes away from the screen, look out of the window or into the farthest distance you can, to change the ‘settings’ on which they’ve been focused.

On a practical level, I bathe my eyes in a tincture of cooled boiled water and Eyebright, a homeopathic preparation which you can find from Helios or Ainsworths homeopathic pharmacy. If they feel dry, irritable or scratchy, I use homeopathic eye drops. Remember to get your eyes checked regularly too. It’s better to pick up problems early and manage them.

Let me know how you get on with this simple quick exercise? I’m curious to know.

What is my Bliss?

Over the last 18 months I’ve been following Lola Jones through her website called Divine Openings. My intention last year was to get happy, and I had a great year, with significantly more conscious happiness. This was wonderful, so this year my intention is to find ‘Joy and Bliss’. I’m asking myself ‘what is bliss? Have I ever experienced it? Will I know it when it’s there? How might it be if I’ve experienced it but not recognised it as that?

Given that we experience life through our own perceptions and filters of beliefs, my bliss is probably totally different to yours; I wonder if you have experienced it, and if so, how frequently and can you be in that state when you choose?

At the end of the film ‘Billy Elliot’, Billy is asked how he feels when he dances. After some thought he says;

” Once I get going….then I like, forget everything. And sorta disappear. Sorta disappear. Like I feel a change in my whole body. and I’ve got this fire in my body. I’m just there. Flyin’ like a bird. Like electricity. Yeah, like electricity. disappear, and it’s electric”.

So I’m looking for the instances when I lose myself – I let go and disappear – so that I can do it more often, until it becomes a habit I can be in when I choose. I’d love to know what your experience of this is?

UP

While looking for inspiration in Lola Jones’s book ‘Everything Is Going Great In My Absence – How To Let The Divine Do The Heavy Lifting’, I found some words which opened my heart like a flower opening in the full sun. They were ‘unimaginable peace’, and I remembered hearing  a blessing which opened my heart in the same way, when I was about 14 years old;  ‘the peace of God which passes all understanding…..’. The words spell UP which is where I am headed on the scale of happiness, joy and bliss Lola gives in her book. So I write UP on my hand every day, to remind myself of that intention, knowing that my mind will take me where my focus is. This action makes me feel focused, purposeful and happy for which I am very grateful.

Raise your vibrations to ‘save the planet’.

“People talk about meditating to save the planet. Get happy, radiate happiness, and that contributes high vibrations to the planet more than you know. Meditating from “there’s something wrong with the planet,” just creates more of that, and more discord in you.”  Lola Jones

Can you imagine how it might be if we were all radiating vibrations of a high level of happiness? If we intend ourselves to be happier, and get really clear about how we would like to be and feel, more of the time, we can change our habitual behaviours, and this will have a knock on effect on everyone we come into contact with. Even when life feels tough, challenging or sad, allowing ourselves to appreciate anything that is good changes our vibration. We just need to want it.

Namaste

Lightbulb moment

While reading ‘The Holographic Universe’ by Michael Talbot, I experienced one of those wonderful ‘ah ha’s’ which make life so precious. He writes : “It appears that in the mind of the beings of light, compassion is the barometer of grace, and time and time again when NDEers (people who’ve had near death experiences, apparently dying but then returning to life – my words) wonder if some act they committed was right or wrong, the beings counter their enquiries only with a question: Did you do it out of love? Was the motivation love?”

So now as life rolls on my question to myself is “am I doing this for love? Is my motivation love?” The change this brings is stunningly amazing, exciting and joyful, and I am overjoyed! Do try it.  With love.

Body/mind reflection

Your body affects your mind, just as the mind affects the body. As part of the Divine Openings creation of choosing to be in a happier, lighter mood, Lola Jones advocates ‘raving’. Now, I’m a quiet raver, not seeking to be extrovert or look for attention, but the one place I love to rave is in the shower. Somehow the acoustics, with the sound of water falling, the sensation of hot water, and the enclosed space make it an ideal opportunity to let rip. I may sing, appreciate, and be grateful for the people and circumstances in my life, or if it feels like a tough day I will actively soothe myself, comforting with soft words and smiles, so my spirits lift and I feel as though I’ve washed off all the difficulties and problems. I am able to step out clean, shiny and ready to get going.

Try it……..’It feels good, nahnah, nahnah, nahnah nah, like I knew it would……’

Happy Fridays

I’m in the habit of texting my 3 grown-up daughters on Friday mornings, to wish them ‘Happy Friday’  reminding them that ‘all is well’; awareness that our positive or negative choice of words creates vibrations which affect us, and everyone around us, is vitally important. There is always choice, even when we feel stuck and log-jammed, and in that case  stopping worrying or working at something, taking a break and doing/being different allows the options to come up.

“You write your own story, so choose the best words”

Have a very Happy Friday